I THINK I HAVE LOST MY PURSE

I think I have left my purse on your bed
No, No, No, Not on the bed
Must be on the sofa by the bed
Kept it resting on the left side arm, perhaps
Next to the side table
No, not even there
I don’t exactly remember where
I was so busy wiping my tears
And moping my nose
(That had turned an ugly red)
With the frayed square of the
Tissue paper that you had
Absentmindedly thrown at me
It had a whole in between
Where I had pressed hard
With my fingers
Till its molecules ached
Till it tore into two pieces
And I having screwed the two bits up
Into a crumpled ball kept on
Twirling it around my shaky fingers
See what you did to me
With your “I don’t love you anymore”
Cold, callous, frozen undertone

I had tiptoed into the room
When you were bent
Over the table intent
On writing a letter
With careless sheets of paper
Thrown hither and thither
I had come up from behind
And snatched the letter
A sheaf of paper
Had slithered on the floor
I had picked up one of them
And found her name
On it; she, who I thought
Was my best friend
You must have sensed me there
Holding the page with a question in air
So you did not even turn around
But confessed then and there
In the stunned silence that
Followed, my world broke apart
Noiselessly, shattered to pieces my
Innocent dream which
Nestles in my womb
Must have also absorbed
The shocked silence
Why did you do this to me?
Why? Why? Why?
Why did you not tell me before?
Why did you mislead me so?
With your boyish smile
And rakish charm
You drew me on and on
Towards you
Oh! What a folly
It is, I, silly,
Who thought you loved me
Like never before
I with my plain face
And lusterless eyes
Should have known
That I have nothing to hold you on
To me; I, who do not have such,
Beguiling charm
Tempting looks
Bewitching smile that disarm
Men and strangers alike
I should have known
Much, much before
That I am no match to you
Then why did you play on?

Oh! I think I have lost my purse
A few bills shoved in there
And a few coins
I do not give a damn for the bills or the coins
But only a few moments captured in a still
The sea kissing the rocks and my saree hem
The salty sprinkles splattered by a
Chiffony breeze which had sprayed a few droplets
On my locks and on my cheeks
And you had pulled me up from the rocks
Taken me into your arms
Wordlessly we had moved, swayed along
Till the roar of the waves played a Mozart
In my veins, we had mingled into one soul
That moment is still rumpled inside the
The purse with delicate care
But now I think I have lost my purse
Forever, and you…………………

Please post me back the purse, will you?
If you find it languishing in one
Speechless corner of the room
It belongs to me you know
The salty sprinkle
The sprayed droplets
The chiffony breeze
The wet saree hem
And that warm touch on my palms
The sway and the dance
You remember
I had broken my heels in that instance
The shoe with the broken heels
Still lie wrapped in a silver foil
At the back of the almirah
Underneath the soft folds of my
Clothes and spreads
A gift so dear
From you, to be cherished forever
A shoe with broken heels
And a lost purse
Return it to me please,
Will you?
If you find it ever