Note : The concrete image version is for laptop readers
this moonless night
casting all shadows away
a shaft of light
d
e
s
c
e
n
d
s
I raise a toast to
f
r
e
e
d
o
m
if you ask me
she is really adept at layering the parlour girl
eye_____________________liner
m a s k a r a
blue eye shadow
deepening the darker circles
underneath my dreams
yet i am swathed in light
blinded till i fancy a cesspool
pulling me in
dark dark darker lightest
light light lighter darkest
dark darker
darling
the patchwork quilt
i fold myself in
past
p r i c k i n g
present
p a g i n g
past
tell me where is the light i bathe in ?
tell me where is the darkness i creep in ?
PS: I realized from Jim's comment that smartphone readers will find it difficult to read this poem where I have tried to create concrete images of patchwork with words. So for those who read on smartphone, here it is a "normal" version
this moonless night
casting all shadows away
a shaft of light
descends
I raise a toast to
freedom
if you ask me
she is really adept at layering the parlour girl
eyeliner
maskara
blue eye shadow
deepening the darker circles
underneath my dreams
yet i am swathed in light
blinded till i fancy a cesspool
pulling me in
dark...... light ......dark........light
darker......lighter.........darker.........lighter
darkest.........lightest.............
darling the patchwork quilt
i fold myself in
past pricking present paging past
tell me where is the light i bathe in ?
tell me where is the darkness i creep in ?
An interesting progression of thought! I love your final questions.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rosemary
DeleteA sad day that we really needn’t have to have. But we only have a small say so. Perhaps the answer to where they go is the same place discarded eMails and comments go sans a dead letter box.
ReplyDeleteYour skived and hop form is okay but for my read on this smart phone makes it hard to find where to go next in my reading. It detracts from my focus on the poem’s message.
Guess I’m being old fashioned, for sure I'm old and cranky. 🙂
..
.
Thanks JIm. No, you are not being old fashioned or anything. I realized the effect is lost on smartphone. So I have created two versions now. One for laptop reading and one for smartphone. Thanks for enlightening me.
DeleteI enjoyed traipsing thru your form / poem. How delightful the journey.
ReplyDeleteThanks Hele. You've made my day.
DeleteEven though I'm not using a stupidphone, I like the simpler form better.
ReplyDelete😃The smiley is for the new coinage stupidphone. Thanks that you could connect to the poem whichever form it is.
DeleteLove the close especially!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much
DeleteLight and darkness. Which do I choose now?
ReplyDeleteAgain it depends in what phase of life or mind you are.
ReplyDeleteMy laptop provided the perfect view. I enjoyed watching the way the words flowed.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rommy. I saw your comment just now. It was good to know that you could make out the way the poem was designed.
Delete