Monday, 27 November 2023

Thanksgiving

spring cleaning...

dusty drawers
cobwebbed closets
yellowed papers
dogeared tomes

tearing away
distant past

half filled diaries
unfinished poems
ruffling of notes

a bout of sneeze

a dried up leaf
bleached
veined

rumpled sheets
.....a hasty scrawl
a teardrop perhaps
fudged the ink

yet legible
"you've made my day"



just those words 
too far away
fogged in time

yet.....

they spilled 
a thousand years....

once again

a bout of sneeze
running nose
a taste of salt
on the tongue

oh! this dust
cobwebs

memories
too many to handle
too much to bear







Monday, 16 October 2023

The Elements



Aging
I forget names
With me the earth
Perhaps untimely

Lurking
For a fistful of sky
Still blue
The leaves
Fondle the

Brusque breeze

Scorched
Wounds learn
To heal inflamed

Mourning
in silence
Frozen
As the glaciers
Ought to be

I embrace
What they say
Nothingness





Friday, 6 October 2023

October


In the whoopsie land
October is special
The autumn fairies
Dance a hip hop
And the winter elves
Wake up from deep slumber
Waiting......watching........wondering
When the sky will turn grey
Clouds will stoop down
The vale and kiss
Off it's hues
And the sun will shrug off
It's shine and hide into its shrine
Beyond the horizon
Where the ocean will 
Sing icy tales of vacant shores

It will hurt first
Then it will be just another day
The ochre will take over the crimson
And the yellow will birth a branch
Of scraggy wails
And the birds will dig their heads deep
Into the hollows of the earth

When you and me will fold in
Our words in a blanket of
Pitch dark silence and patiently
Wait for
Another moon
A few stars
A silky breeze
And dreams 
That will make us smile
All over again



                            Pic from Pinterest 

Tuesday, 12 September 2023

Morning Breeze

I inhale deeply
The freshness of dawn
They say it's pollution
I call it life

Saturday, 2 September 2023

Imperceptible

Apathy
I surrender all
Questions

Violence
And find solace in 
As is

Oscillation
To realign the 
Path

Immediacy
I give up the
What ifs


Deviation
Nonetheless 


A Post Script



I AVOID 
Those butterflies
Churning inside 

I know

The river
Changes course
And sometimes
Fences too
 
                         

                                   
                                                 
        Shared with Poets And Storytellers United


Pic from Pinterest


Sunday, 6 August 2023

Reverie

 He was a lanky youth

I had just started wearing saree

We took the Chartered Bus from the same stop in the mornings

It was my first job

With a meagre salary

Fresh from College and a sheltered cocoon

I was naïve, shy and saw the world through rose tinted shades


I knew he watched me covertly

Though he sat at the far end of the bus

Where the seasoned men played cards

The ladies sat in front and kept to themselves

I did not know much about him


Sometimes in the evenings 

We again happened to take the same commute home

A few months later I got a seat next to his

By choice

He said he was a year younger to me

I was crestfallen

I had read about "the tall, dark and handsome " 

Who knew how to deal with the world 

 Whom the girls of marriageable age swooned over

"The most eligible bachelor ..."

The mothers crooned to each other

But he knew who to choose

The innocent virgin.....the one who would surrender to his ways 

Without a word of protest


From that day onwards

I ignored him

I did not know about him though

He knew too many things about me


And then he stopped coming in the bus

I wondered why


But that morning...

We bumped into each other one last time

He told me he was being transferred

To another city....?

I too had my plans of shifting base

We did not say good bye

But just crossed the road 

Without a word

I towards the bus stop

He towards home

Oh yes! We were neighbours


A few years later

In the Puja Pandal

Saw him standing at the far end 

I had come over for the vacation

It seemed he still watched me from the corner of his eyes

Greenish brown fringed with curly lashes

We never spoke of course!

It did not make sense

My life had taken a different bend

Away from his 

And I had too many plans which never matured at the end

Still...


Long time after

Again during a vacation

I saw him  walking into the Puja Pandal

Holding the hand of a girl child

A dark woman by his side

His pale skin had a deep tan now

He wore a pair of spectacles

Elderly....serious....responsible....a family man 

Undoubtedly

Yet for a moment he was startled to see me

Still the same perhaps

Quiet, introvert,  too stupidly naïve

 

They say some ties do not have a name

Was this one of those?

I am not so sure

Yet in lonely leisure when I muse over 

Those days...


Once I had got a second hand text book

With beautiful poems written at the back

Was it his?


He had said he had a passion for music

Did he ever sing a song with me in mind

That's stupid.....you know


We had never kissed

Or said "I love you"

That was too cliched

We never got that close

It was just a look, just a smile, just few words

But

I still remember the colour of his eyes

His walk and that quick side way glance

Making wordless poetry on a wet dusk

At the fag end of life

Decades later  




Shared with Poets and Storytellers United


Sunday, 23 July 2023

Paradox

I was born on a long winter night
Mother must have laid cold and cramped
When the umbilical cord was being shorn
Father calculated the planetary position
And my horoscope was born
"She will bring back the lost glory"
Pronounced he and continued harping the Same  till I believed in it
I was just a small child

If by glory he meant the furniture
He had to sell off or the jewelry
My mother wore in her photos
He was somewhat correct
But if it indicated something beyond that 
I am not so sure

But I was tied to his words since the day
I could make some sense of my existence
The paths I took were too narrow, too wide,
Too steep, too crisscrossed
But I persevered
Because I was supposed to be the
Beacon of their life 

Bound by my image I tripped, I fell,
I persevered again so that I could tell
I have won, I have proven
The forecast made
When I had uttered the first cry of life
The destiny that was drawn out
And my journey that was charted 
Even before it began

"Masochist," my sister would say
"Vulnerable", I replied 
I pretended to be brave
When I felt the most shaken
I blazed with anger
When it hurt the most
Scarred when recognition
Came my way all too late

Yet I perpetuated the false hope
In the hope to be the glimmer of hope
In lives flustered by hopelessness

Yet on some moonless nights
Stepping over my own shadow
I wonder what life could have been
If I were not what I was culled out to be
Stronger, braver, lighter and perhaps happier?


Had life let me travel back in time
Would I have had the heart to desist,
"I am not what you make me out to be"
Let me just be the trailing shadow 
And walk in peace
Not the blazing torch you have 
Turned me out to be?

(*) It is customary in our culture to draw the horoscope of a newly born child as per exact time and place of birth. In olden times it entailed long mathematical calculations to derive the planetary position during birth time which would influence the life's journey of a person till death.