As usual, Mr. Boots woke me up dutifully early morning with his plaintive whines. It was 04.30 am. After the initial preparations, we went for a short morning walk inside the block and came back to settle down to daily routine.
It was 05.00 am and Saturday. So things could be taken a little lightly. I lay down again in bed to take a post walk nap. As is my habit before sleep stole away my conscious musings, I thought I’d peep in a little bit to see what’s bothering me this morning. Surprisingly, there was nothing of consequence to dwell upon. No worry. Nor tension. No pain. No tortuous alleyway into the past. No disturbing present. No stressful apprehension of the future. Nothing! How could it be? Was I at last one with my own self? Was I at last in peace? The ever-eluding contentment which everybody seeks and fails and disgustingly discards in the long run as a Utopian paean! Have I unexpectedly achieved that? Unknowingly so? And spontaneously these words sneaked out of my cerebral crevices:
No thoughts wander alive
No lugubrious musings of the past
No exaggerated worries of the present
No dreadful demands of the future
No buried dreams tug the shores of sanity
No litany of woes drones the broken heart
No crushed and crumpled vanity
No venomous vengeful raging ruse
No pilferage of agony-hangover let loose
No angst, no meaningless consolation
No vehement protests; no turning away from reality
A vacuum, a void, a vivid nothingness perhaps
No not even that; just me and myself
In oneness in peace with my own innermost self,
(Atonement they say it is)
Agile, active, sprightly, agog, wondrous
Perhaps joyous too in a calm and quiet way
A stoic? A transformation probably
To saintly cogitation; almost God-like in
Manifestation, no expectations either
Of lucrative proposition, temptations too scurry past
Apotheosis ? Oh is this? A true, triumphal cross-over
From human to being supra-human?
I do not know what it is, but may be in simple
Parlance, I have come to terms with life
This was a fleeing, fleeting, momentary, transient feeling which was soon taken over by the mundane, routine, usual mental vagaries and delights. I just wanted to catch the ephemeral moment in the crooks of my palms and tie a noose around and make it my own. This is just an attempt towards the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment