Mother And Child

I have nurtured hatred
unendingly so................
bags full of trash
valueless to the world
priceless to me
as all other worthless thoughts
churned and cherished
within the fragile membranes
                  of a puerile mind
now appear to have lost their shine
in the blinding glitter
of mushrooming malls

I have parented dreams
wailing in the womb
of silenced nights
throttled sobs
and muffled cries

I have sung lullabies
to sooth them to sleep
and woken them up
at the wrong time
fed them what
money could not buy
nourished them well
so that they  not die
an untimely death
schooled them to believe
they have been immortalized

Yes, I have mothered dreams
but never a child...

Which Way ?

Each morning...

He revs up the engine
Looking back in the rear view mirror
Asks an innocuous question
"Which way to take ma'am?"

"Which way.....?"
I toy with the idea in my mind
A little blank, a little confused,
Undecided,  as ever...

Which way indeed!
The one I left behind ?
Or the one that I bypassed in a hurry?
No, perhaps the one which I dreamt of
But never had the courage to take?
What about the one which never was
Except that I thought it was somewhere
Around the next bend?
Well, the one that I deliberately erased
From the map of life mistaking it to be
The one not for me?
Leave alone all those chaotic choices
And go for the easy one which comes your way!

My way....?
The clouds of doubt hover low
Is there really a way made for me?
A pre-ordained destination wherein the wheels will
Automatically roll in...
Even if I try real hard to steer clear of that direction?
I wonder...

"Ma'am?"
Again that soft reminder
I wake up from my reverie
And choose not to look lost
Reclining back prostrating my tired limbs
As much as I can
I gesture him to move ahead,
"Whichever way you feel is the best..."
I tell him

He frowns a little thinking hard
And then suddenly cheers up
As the thought strikes him
"Let's take that one which is less crowded,
We'll reach home on time"
I agree

The less crowded or the less traveled?
I desist from asking
And allow myself to be driven
Through the throngs of thoroughfares....
This time may be we'll really reach home
On time....