Momentary

And then there were those unexpected moments of madness
When he suddenly pulled over by the dirt road
And emptied his tormented heart
Hiding his face in my lap
His tears soiling my shirt
While I sat stilled by his noisy sobs


He said he was sure we were bonded birth after birth
By an umbilical chord of love and longing
But I lack faith


Yet spend sleepless nights fearful that someday
I shall lose him to the crowd
Someday he shall walk out of my life
The way he had once walked in
Someday I shall stifle a sob by the dirt road
Which carries traces of his noisy sobs
In utter silence of reproach

A Myth Called Certitude

मैं यकीनन कह नहीं सकती
ज़िन्दगी अब न रुलाएगी
न रातों की खामोशियाँ
चौंकाएगी, न सपनों के  धुंधलके
निचोड़ जायेगी रूह को, बेवक्त
ही कोई आस दम तोड़  न देगी
और हांपते   क़दमों को साए
घने, सब्ज़ नसीब होंगे

घबड़ाहट धडकनें बन गई अब तो
सिसकियाँ खुशनुमाह दाग़ दामन पे
और यकीन पे यकीं रखना
एक कायर सा ख्वाब मानो


मैं यकीनन कह  नहीं सकती
धुप ढलते ही छाओं बरक़रार रहेंगे
और दिन के  झुलसते तंगियों को
रात के आगोश में चैन की पनाह
मिलेगी ...

मुझे यकीन से डर  लगने लगा हैं
और ख्वाबों पे विश्वास
बेवजह बोझ सी मालूम पड़ती है

मैं यकीन करू के न करू
बता मेरे हमनफज़
ग़मज़दाओं का यह हश्र
कोई नयी बात तो नहीं
फिर भी

कोई गर यकीन दिलाये
तो यकीं पे यकीं हो शायद

Am not sure life’s gonna be

A bed of roses henceforth

And the dead of the night

Won’t startle me out of peace

And those dreams which
Never saw the light of the day
Won’t beckon me like a mirage
From afar
Breaking my heart the way they
Always do
And hope shan’t play truant like the
Kid next door who’ve been caught quite often
bunking school by his parents
Whether these tired feet shall find
That forlorn pair of slippers lost in the crowded temple
And heart would find its cadence
to that hip-hop number we always danced in glee
And running nose won’t leave their dirty marks
On shirt sleeves
Sobs are such a nuisance!!!

I know it’s rather foolish to have faith

In the certitudes of life

As there’s nothing seems to be

Of certainty except   

That fiery ball of red in the sky

Which might not find an embalming

Cushion in the folds of the night that follows

Yet it’s quite certain that day precedes night

And vice versa

 
Well it’d be quite comforting if someone
Were to assert a pattern to life
However, as dreams dilute to nothingness

And life seems to fizzle away into something

Uncomprehendingly fatuous

The only certitude seems to be the uncertainties
Awaiting at the next bend
To catch you unawares