Friday, 10 May 2013

Death Of A Neighbour

 
Today my neighbour died
An octogenarian
Who had more than often
Given us to believe
That he was no more
 
He left behind two daughters
One half witted
The other outwitted by grief
Vacuous and subdued
 
It was early morning
When I heard her mournful cry
And then closing of a door with a loud bang
 
The maid came and asked me,
"Have you heard the news Didi?"
I asked flatly, "Which one is it?
The father or the dumb daughter?"
The one who kept wishing us Good Day
Was surviving on dialysis...
 
My maid shook her head and clucked
About the ephemerality of life
 
And the day continued as it is...
In the evening after returning from office
I mustered all my will to pay a visit
Rather clumsy on such ocassions
I seldom know what to say in consolation
They welcomed me - the aged relatives
Aunts and Uncles, Daughter-in-laws
And the rest
"Sardarji did not give us an opportunity
To take care of him; he died in sleep
Perhaps it was for the best"
 
I recalled how my father had died
of his third heart attack...
Light years it took me to speak of him
And the pain he had suffered
Without a tremor in my voice
At last the bruised past was won over
To my surprise...
The rites would be in the Gurdwara
Time not yet fixed
I bade a goodbye rather abrupt
They said there is a ritual of picking flowers!!!
Not the ones which grow in abundance in the park adjacent
But the resids of life which refuse to mingle with the ashes
 
As I mumbled a few words of condolence - routine stuff y' know
And walked out' the door
The only words that were left behind were
"... to pick the flowers"
And from the room next to the hall
Floated odd little moaning sounds
Of an orpahned,empty-headed girl
Eerie laments of a loss least understood
But felt deep somewhere inside


आज मेरे पड़ोसी  की मौत हो गयी
सत्तासी साल का बूढ़ा
जो कई  साल अतिरिक्त जी गया धोके से

पीछे  छोड़  गया दो अधेड़ उम्र की बेटियां
एक दिमाग़ी तौर  पे कमज़ोर
और दूसरी जिसे ज़िन्दगी ने  कमज़ोर कर दिया था
सूनी पथराई  सी आँखे और सहमे से लब्ज़

सुबह सवेरे सुनी थी करुण आर्तनाद
फिर एक दरवाज़ा बंद हुआ था बड़े ज़ोरों से

कामवाली ने आके पूछा , "दीदी तुमने ख़बर सुनी?"
मैंने बेझिझक जवाब में कहा , " कौन गया ? बेटी या बाप?"
वोह जो दिन में सौ दफ़ा  "सत  श्री अकाल" का रट लगाती थी
डायलिसिस पे जी रही थी बेचारी ....

उसने अफ़सोस जताकर कहा, "दीदी,  समय का कोई भरोसा नहीं
यह बात तुम मानती तो होगी?"

और बिना कुछ कहे  दिन यूँ ही गुज़र गया

शाम को ऑफिस  से लौटते वक़्त बड़ी  हिम्मत जुटाई
और उनके फ्लैट की कालिंग बेल बजाई
ऐसे मौकों पर क्या कहें ?
वही दो चार शब्द अर्थहीन

बड़े  बुज़ुर्ग बैठे थे कई
जीजा, भाभी , बहन बहनोई,
और कुछ खाली कुर्सियां

"सरदारजी ने मौका नहीं दिया हमें सेवा करने का
नींद ही में चल बसे
शायद यही फरमान था ऊपरवाले का …"

मुझे याद आ गया वोह काली रात
जब पिताजी को आया था हार्ट अटैक
अरसा लग गया था वोह हादसा भूलते
उस ग़म को बांछते
आज ज़बान जली नहीं
ज़ख्म  थक गए आखिर
ज़िन्दगी  से जूझते 

"गुरूद्वारे में पाठ रखी है
समय तै नहीं हो पाया"
उन्होंने  बताया
कुछ फूल चुनने की बात चली
वोह नहीं जो साथ के पार्क में
गुंचे खिले है अपनी ताकीद से
ये वोह हैं जो राख न हो सके
आग के सांचे में

"चाय तो पियो"
"नहीं"  मैंने कहा
दरवाज़े तक आते आते
"कुछ ज़रुरत हो तो बताना"
उसने सर हिलाया

दबी-दबी सिसकियों
साथ के कमरे से
हवा में तैरती रही
दर्द नासमझ सा

मैं आहट क़दमों के छोड आई
सीढियों पे

और वे फूल चुनने की  बात करते रहें
देर तक ...
 

Saturday, 4 May 2013

These Are Difficult Days


 
These are difficult days
Of tussle between will and wish
Love and hate
Trust seems a fickle twist
To a bond
Neat yet knotty
Pain diffused in a toast
Of life derides hope
Moments after moments
Sleek , sloppy, sloven
Haunt dreams
Cherished yet forgotten
And those roads
Which lead no where
Beckon me like a
Bunch of temptresses
Staggered steps
Draw uneven lines,
Haggard shapes
Time they say
Is still not ripe
And I stand alone
On a lonely beach
Counting waves after waves
As the sun droops down
On the western shore
And night knocks on the door
I stand alone
And watch the waves push by
Waves…

These are really trying times
And difficult days...
 




ये दिन हैं कठिन

एक जंग चाह और निबाह के बीच
सघन, समीप, तिरस्कृत


इक मोड़ अस्थिर
आस्थाओं के ओट में
रिश्तों की पेचीदगी

सफाई से बरक़रार रखती हुई 

दर्द जाम भर ज़िन्दगी
से मजाक कर गयी
"आस की बात करते हो ?"
वोह पल पानी सा
फूहड़, सजीली ?
जो सपनों में जगाती है
भूल कर भी याद ...


और वो रास्ते ?
जो कहीं नहीं जाते
ईशारों से बुलाते हैं केवल
चंचल चपलाओं सी...


लडखडाते क़दम
टेडिमेडि रेखाएं खींचती है
थके से छबि, निर्जीव, संकीर्ण


"समय", सभी कहते हैं,
"सहेली नहीं है तुम्हारी"
और मैं अकेली 
सुनसान किनारों पे
लहरें गिनती हुई
मुरझाते सूरज की
रौशनी में

पश्चिम का मुसाफिर
रात खटखटाती हैं दरवाज़ा
पर मैं फिर भी अकेली
निरंतर लहरें गिनती हुई


समय असहज और दिन मलिन

 

Friday, 26 April 2013

A Wandering Thought

I must, must, must know
Who is the author
Of my life

To tell him to
Reverse, if he could,
The fickle hands of time

Erase a few
Lines here and there
And twist a bend
And take a turn
To set the tale right

I must, must, must know
Who is the author
Of my life

Saturday, 6 April 2013

Freedom


Bottom of Form

This is a short story in verse about a woman who suffered domestic violence for her daughter's sake year after year. But she stood strong in the face of adversities in the hope of freedom which she was endowed with after her daughter was married away. In the autumn of her life, she asked for a divorce from her husband.
______________________________________________________________
As the bonhomie of celebration
Subdued to a dull echo
It was time to take a deep breath
Sit and ruminate
On the past
Mending the broken heart
Over joyous whoops
Of regained strength
The tortuous days of
Bleeding by the prick of deadly thorns
Were over at last….

Days of soft caring fingers pasting a band-aid
With everlasting tenderness
She recalled with a wan smile on her lips

Two drops of tears
Welled up the brim of
The delicate rims
Frilled with dew shy lashes

She remembered the gashes
Too, the venomous slashes
Which love lashed on her
The parched throat
The choked heart
The thirsty eyes longing for
A lone dream
A single word
Glass thin
“Are you fine?”

No! Amidst the pall of gloom
Her sobs echoed with weird vibrations
Till there was nothing left
But an empty cocoon
A thin membrane
Stretched brutally across brittle bones
Tearing tissues, blocked arteries, seething veins

But she carried on…
Tied by an oath
For light years

Till the bells chimed
It was time to say good bye
To her dear heart
To those tender fingers
Which had wiped her tears
For three decades
Strangled by wedlock

Now as she felt the chains melt away
She rejoiced freedom
Today when moon shines in her hair
And sun has left its tan on her skin
She looks up to the sky and sings
“I am free”
Today she has signed on the dotted lines
And sealed the estrangement
Permanently with ink
And earned her breath back
Today she is free…

 

 

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

A Rainy Day - Haiku



Clouds hang low
Rain swept roads
My little note book open

Sunday, 10 March 2013

What If....?

He said, "Enough of this hullo-hi
on the passive page.
Let's meet now.
The Metro or McD?"

She silenced her thoughts
As the past came
haunting back
Another evening
Another rendezvous
Greedy eyes
Lustful smile
Yawning gaps
Between yellow teeth
And that slimy touch
Behind her back
Which made her jump
Sending a shiver down
Her shaking legs....
The bald patch
The sparse, gray mop
Had spoken enough
As she cringed with disgust
"Lets meet again"
He had said
She had inhaled a deep breath
Before dashing blindly
Towards the passing bus...

Today she shut off the
Plasma view
With equal haste
In apprehension and dread
What if history repeated itself?
What if....

Thursday, 28 February 2013

A Lost Purse

I rewrote this poem, don't know why....

The original is here:

http://mindspeak-vanderloost.blogspot.in/2010/09/i-think-i-have-lost-my-purse.html

While the rewritten one is below:

I crept slowly behind him
He sat at his study desk
By the big window
Deep in musing
A few pages askew on the table
A few lying supine on the ground
The sun streamed in
Like a golden flood
Washing the room
In splendour abound

I tiptoed into the middle of the room
Picked up the pages
Scented with his thoughts
Missives of love
I was amused
If he found me in the room
How would he react?
The recipient of the lovelorn lore
Standing just right behind!

But what was this?
As my eyes fell on the name
My dreams shattered
Against jagged rocks
As I turned the fish bowl crashed
On the ground
He turned back with a start
Aghast!
He looked at me for a few moments
And time stopped
The way it had done two years back

A sea kissed shore
A sprinkle of waves
We had waltzed wetting the helms
Of our clothes
My stilettos had given in
Doing a few quickened steps
The broken pair still lies somewhere
Wrapped in a foil of silver nest

I did not brush away the tears
Wetting my cheeks
I left a pile of quests unsought
My purse reclining on the sofa
I consider as property lost
Neither did I share my womb’s
Secret accredited to his Midas touch!
I just left……. without looking back
Because there was nothing more to say
The name on those letters, you see
Belonged to my best friend, Jesse!